Today my therapist told me that I don't really work full-time and I need to look for a full-time job. It was extremely hard to hold back from screaming at her. What the hell does she think I've been doing since July? Though lately all the internet job postings I see are from the same companies that I already know don't want to hire me. (I usually send an application anyway, but there isn't much point.)
I told her if I don't find a better job or a second job by June I'm going to kill myself. I think she thought I didn't mean it, but she's wrong. Or maybe she thinks it doesn't matter because I'll find something by then, but I'm pretty sure she's wrong on that too. She says it's "my hopelessness talking" a cheesy little phrase that doesn't indicate what reason I have to hope for anything when life just keeps kicking me in the teeth over and over again.
- Current Mood: distressed
- Current Music:Die Ärzte - Geh mit mir